Ellipsis Part Two ...

Having asthma is a pain in my ass. ... Incidentally, working at Wal-Mart is a pain in my ass. ... Also, having no AC is a pain in my ass. ... Having to pay for stuff is a pain in my ass. ... Having senioritis is a pain in my ass, only inasmuch that I put my homework off too long. ... People who hate blogging are a pain in my ass. ... FOX is a pain in my ass for favoring American Dad to Arrested Development. ... This blog is slowly (or quickly) becoming a pain in your ass. ...

Halls Fruit Breezes do wonders for a scratchy throat. ... I was recently inducted into Phi Kappa Phi, which means I'm smarter and cooler and better than anyone reading this. Although, that's probably not true. Especially in the case of those who were inducted last year. I bow to you all. But not for too long because I am the King of Elon. ... Duff Beer playing cards are hot. ... I can't believe the Orioles lost to the Red Sox tonight. David Wells was pitching for Christ's sake. That's just poor that they would lose to someone fatter than Sidney Ponson. ... The Wizards lost a game late to the Knicks tonight, but for once I can say, "Who gives a damn!" They're in the playoffs, and that's friggin' exciting. It starts Sunday at 5:30 p.m. on TNT against the Bulls in Chicago. ...

If Phil is the King of All Media, then I've been elected the new Pope. ... (I'm only kidding, Phil.) ... Call me when you find a better DJ than DJ Premier. ... Call me a second time when you find a better MC than Nas. ... If you call me and tell me Jay-Z is better, than you will be shot on sight. ... Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the weirdest shows I've ever seen. It's also one of the funniest things on television. ... I still contend that French is the most beautiful language in the world. ...

And on a personal note: Carolyn may very well be the coolest person I've ever met (outside of T-Rock). She's also been voted the hottest female in America among Galway first graders. Those kids may be creepy, but at least they have good taste. ... I have three nipples, four balls and two penises, one of which is three times the size of the other. Why would I share this, you ask? For the ladies, of course.