For Today, the CA Sucks

I recently covered Oktoberfest in April for the Commercial Appeal. Well, for the Bartlett/Cordova zoned edition of the CA. The copy editor did a butcher job on my piece. I was told I needed to write 12-15 inches (420-525 words). I wrote 15 words past the limit, but the story that showed up in the paper was 384 words. If they wanted a 11-inch story, I would've written an 11-inch story. The cutting was inexcusable, in my opinion. Furthermore, she almost completely altered or deleted a lot of what I wrote. I'm not one to complain too often. Copy editors are important, but this hatchet job was ridiculous. I've posted my original story. (If you want to see a story that's barely mine but boasts my name, CLICK THIS LINK.

Now, my original story isn't great by any means. This story gave me trouble. I had a tough time getting started and into the meat of it. And certainly some things I mention later in the story could've been mentioned earlier. I succumbed to the pressure of an insanely early deadline for a Saturday night. I was out of my element a bit, too, seeing as how this was a pure features story unrelated to sports. But, this is what I really wrote. I employed a staccato-style second graf and a question in a later graf to make it more conversational and break from the normal narrative feeling of the story. My attempt, however meek, at a change of pace. My transitions could've used work, too, but not work to the tune of 150 removed words and completely changed grafs.

Also, I'm not hating on copy editors. I value their work. They're of vital importance to newspapers. All I ask is that any major changes go through me. Give me the oppportunity to fix it. Don't just cut and move on.

Anyway, here's the story I wrote:

An unfamiliar aroma wafted through the air, a smell that, for the most part, is not commensurate to the Memphis cooking scene. The scent emanated from the dozen or so gigantic grills, as a swirling wind swept through and transported the scent of bratwursts to all in attendance.
That’s right. Bratwursts. Here. In Memphis. An epicenter of the barbecue world.
"Brats are becoming big on the backyard grill scene," said Michael Zeller, the corporate development chef for Johnsonville Sausage. "I definitely see it coming through. It’s natural."
Grilling brats was just one part of the second annual Oktoberfest in April, which took place Saturday afternoon at the Agricenter.
But wait. Why was Oktoberfest being held in April?
"We wanted to do an Oktoberfest actually in October, but none of them have ever worked here," said Wanda Barzizza, the chairman and founder of the Grand Krewe of Luxor. "We can’t get it off the ground because everyone is either at Ole Miss, University of Memphis or Tennessee football games. Some people we’ll eventually get down here in April, we wouldn’t be able to get in October."
The event, though, was less concerned about staying loyal to the traditional Oktoberfest and more focused on family.
"Bottom line, this is for the kids," said John McNulty, the captain of team Windsock. "That’s what it’s all about. It’s a fun gathering."
Barzizza originated the idea for the event more than year ago, and all proceeds from Oktoberfest in April benefited Shelby Residential and Vocational Services. SRVS aids more than 900 people with developmental disabilities.
"We wanted to do something that was more public that we could involve children in," Barzizza said. "We do this very similar to what you see with the Italian Festival, but we never go over a day."
The German-themed event included the customary Oktoberfest endeavors – brats and beer. But it also boasted a potpourri of nontraditional activities, including a celebrity brat eating contest – won by Tom Prestigiacomo of FM 100 – a suspender contest and kids’ and adults’ brat cooking contests.
The Southern Brat Singers, led by Michael Barzizza, took first place in the brat cooking contest. McNulty’s Windsock won second, and The Grand Krewe of Phoenix, headed by Jeff Moore and DeAnne Gammon, finished third.
Many of the grill masters, including McNulty, were making their initial foray into the art of cooking brats, so Zeller and Jerry Womble, a former team cook for the NFL’s Dallas Cowboys, were on hand to provide simple demonstrations.
"We’re really going to do some basic things on how to cook brats," Zeller said.
Buddy Lanier, a co-captain of the Offside Grillers team, enjoyed the change of culinary pace.
"There are too many barbecue teams around here," Lanier said. "We’re in a five-phase program. Phase one is bratwursts, and phase two is Italian sausages. Five years from now, we could very well win (the brat cooking contest) in Munich."
Barzizza has been encouraged by the event’s progress, and she thinks it will become a Memphis mainstay in the near future.
"Over the next two or three years, you’re going to really see this thing take off," she said. "Next year, we have to get this advertised to the public early on and really start slamming it."


Say what you will about the quality of my story, but I like it more than the version that appeared in the newspaper. It's a shame when something you wrote is butchered, but because your name is on it, people associate it with you. I'd much rather have people pissed at something I wrote, rather than something a copy editor rewrote.