Marc Stein, We've Got Problems

And not just the usual problems. You know, the ones that deal with how much you undervaule and underrate the Washington Wizards. I'm not too concerned with that. No, our problems today arise because of your unimaginative addition to the long list of potential Gilbert Arenas nicknames. In your Power Rankings, it seems you prefer the moniker Captain Quirk for Arenas. You think it's better than Agent Zero. Well, we here at Prolix Prone (by we, I mean me) feel as though your qualifications to make such decisions should be challenged. Captain Quirk seems like such a pedestrian entry into the annals of Gilbert's nicknames. Agent Zero, The Stealth and the various sundry of names that Dan Steinberg has included on his D.C. Sports Bog seem not only more appropriate, but more creative. (By the by, Steinberg's bog is the best bog in town. Maybe it's because it's the only "bog" in town, but really, we're just splitting hairs. Seriously, it's a top-flight blog, especially if you want news about teams other than the Redskins. Plus he drops pumpkins off the RFK roof in a stunt eerily similar to what Dave Letterman used to do. I'm not saying lawsuit, but ...) So, Mr. Stein, we wonder if you have the wherewithal to rank all the NBA teams if the pinnacle of your creativity leads you to the nickname Captain Quirk. I mean, don't know you that Gilbert isn't quirky. You're just angering the man.