Bringing the Funny

Today, Tony Kornheiser, Washington Post columnist, and Norman Chad, syndicated columnist whose column runs in the Post, both have pieces printed in the Post. And as usual, they came with the funny. Here I present you with the funniest moments from their columns.

"Last season in a stirring, frosted cake ceremony, the Wizards honored their three all-stars: Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison, who actually were named to the team, and Larry Hughes, whom Abe Pollin announced was an all-star by virtue of the fact that Abe has been an NBA owner in the league for 95 years, and feels he knows an all-star when he sees one. With Hughes gone, the Wizards need to find a third superior player.

One other thing the Wizards need to do is ditch their idiotically loud and overwrought introduction extravaganza. On Saturday night, it appeared the Wizards' starters each rose up through a smoke machine on an elevator contraption, then descended a rickety flight of stairs in the darkened arena. What if one or two fall and kill themselves? (Curse O' Les Boulez.) Plus, a darkened area is dangerous for LaSooz's Singles Nights. Because, when the lights come up in the concourse, you just might go, 'Whoa!' "

-- Tony Kornheiser

"Not to mention, I'm rooting for the Portland Trail Blazers this season because Coach Nate McMillan has a no-headband rule. If I want to see people working in headbands, I'll go intern with the Taliban."

-- Norman Chad