The NBA Season and a Sundry of Other Topics

After the Washington Redskins fell to a dismal 0-2, the world came crumbling down around me. My beloved Redskins, at 0-2, were finished. Cooked. Well-done. The remaining 14 games? Merely a formality. There was no need to continue on. The trudge toward the bottom of the NFC East had begun, and seemingly, was picking up steam with every passing day. That's right. I panicked. After two measley games. After only 1/8 of the season had passed. I mean, c'mon. How ridiculous was my behavior? In all honesty, probably standard within the realm of the Redskin fan. But then, the Redskins dismantled that vaunted Houston Texans defense, piling up almost 500 yards and 31 points. Just an all-around beat down. Suddenly, I recognized a feeling of hope inside of me. It was fleeting, however, because I remained skeptical about a victory against Houston. My dubiousness led me to realize that the Skins did what they were supposed to do on Sunday. And while simply attaining reachable goals have been difficult for the Skins to achieve, the fact is, they beat a doormat, a mess of a team, a hodgepodge of parts, the sum of which is an unbearable, JV-like football squad. So, the Jags come to town this Sunday, and I guess we'll really know where Washington stands.

But, what does this have to do with basketball or the sundry of other topics? Well, after the second loss, a Monday night stinker against the Dallas Cowboys, I remember vividly turning off my television and thinking to myself, "Come back Gilbert. I need the Wizards." That's right I said I needed the Wizards. How counterintuitive is that? Go back four or five years, and no one needed the Wizards, or in keeping with the NFL theme thus far, the Texans of the NBA. But I was lamenting the fact that the NFL season, just two weeks old, had come to a horrendous and abrupt end. So I sat there, wishing the NBA season would sneak up on me unexpectedly. I wanted to see Gilbert draining 3-pointers and driving recklessly to the rim. I wanted to see Antawn Jamison hoisting up his unorthodox, long-range jumper and dumping in those little garbage shots from five feet out, the ones that frustrate defenders and coaches because, honestly, how the hell did he sink that shot. I wanted to see Caron Butler outmuscle his man and throw one done. I wanted to see 105 points a game and a posterization of LeBron James on opening night. If the Redskins couldn't get it done, I knew Gilbert and the Wizards would.

While I have more confidence in the Redskins these days, I'm still looking forward to the start of the Wizards season. With their new additions and a more embittered Gilbert Arenas, this team could easily push 50 wins. But, more importantly, I'm here to make some NBA predictions. Below, you'll find my one-sentence analysis of every team in the NBA. (I think I stole this gimmick from Michael Wilbon, but who cares? He used it once and never again. I'm usupring the style and claiming it in my name.) Yes, that's right. I'll provide insightful analysis in just one sentence. Take note Bill Simmons. You don't need 6,000 words to describe a burgeoning season.

Atlanta Hawks: Their big free agent move was signing Speedy Claxton, who's now hurt, to add to a roster with some talent (Josh Smith), but not enough to pose any real threat to teams in the East.

Boston Celtics: They made some nice acquistions, especially if Sebastian Telfair works out, to help Paul Pierce reach the playoffs again, but they're still short that one big-time scorer, so the playoffs are probably a miss for this team.

Charlotte Bobcats: Raymond Felton says this team is going to the playoffs, but I wonder if he's looked at his roster recently?

Chicago Bulls: Signing Ben Wallace and PJ Brown really sured up a defense that didn't need to be altered, but it also added no offense to a team devoid of any; however, the Bulls are improved and should be a factor in the playoff picture.

Cleveland Cavaliers: With LeBron James, the Cavs know they'll get plenty of scoring and consistent trips to the postseason, but whether he can will this team to the next level is yet to be seen.

Dallas Mavericks: They played some defense last year, which made them a more complete team, so expect them to continue that trend and be a favorite to make it back to the Finals.

Denver Nuggets: Carmelo Anthony is a helluva player, but he lacks a shooter who can spread the floor and a decent forward/center, so the Nuggets will be one of those average teams in the West that barely slip into the playoffs.

Detroit Pistons: Last season their defense was penetrable, while their offense improved, and without Ben Wallace, that defense will only slip, resulting in a major drop off for this Pistons team.

Golden State: Don Nelson is back, but he'll realize quickly he lacks the overall talent he had in Dallas.

Houston Rockets: With a healthy Tracy McGrady, this team is legit, but his propensity to injuries is cause for concern, so this team is hit or miss.

Indiana Pacers: A team often ravaged by injuries, the Pacers look strong again and should pose a challenge to teams such as the Bulls, Cavs and Pistons in the Central.

L.A. Clippers: The Clip Show had a surprising year last year, and they should be expected to make it back to the playoffs, with an exit in the second round likely.

L.A. Lakers: This team is still relying on Kwame Brown to be a dominant force under the basket, which means one and done come postseason time.

Memphis Grizzlies: This is a hard luck team that got jobbed by the screwy NBA postseason seeding, and now has to play its first two to three months without Pau Gasol, making a return trip to the playoffs highly unlikely.

Miami Heat: The Heat are aging, but they're still the favorites to take the Southeast.

Milwaukee Bucks: The Bucks squeeked into the playoffs last year and will probably be replaced in the standings by a darkhorse like the Magic this season.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Kevin Garnett will endure another tough season because Minnesota again failed to surround him with proven talent.

New Jersey Nets: With Kidd, Carter, Jefferson and Kristic, the Nets have a formidable quartet of scorers that should bring them another Atlantic Division title.

New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets: Replacing PJ Brown with Tyson Chandler was a lateral move, but the improved play of Chris Paul will determine whether the Hornets are the eighth seed or on the outside looking in like last year.

New York Knicks: An absolute mess that Isiah the GM created and that Isiah the coach can't fix.

Orlando Magic: The Magic have a lot of good, young players, but they're still on the bubble because it's unclear who will give them consistent scoring.

Philadelphia 76ers: Allen Iverson again has a dearth of talent around him, so he'll continue to try to push this team into the postseason single-handedly.

Phoenix Suns: If Amare is back, this team is scary; however, if they don't play some form of defense, they're doomed to early playoff exits.

Portland Trailblazers: Zach Randolph is good (but troubled), the rest of this team is bad.

Sacramento Kings: No Bonzi Wells and an aging Mike Bibby means no playoffs.

San Antonio Spurs: The Spurs are the epitome of consistency and team basketball, which is why they're always at the top of the NBA.

Seattle Supersonics: Last year was a surprise, and this year, the Sonics should be more competitive, but how much remains to be seen.

Toronto Raptors: The Raptors have some nice, skilled, young players around which build, so they're probably still a year or two away from making a dent in the Eastern Conference.

Utah Jazz: Jerry Sloan has had a tough time since Karl Malone and John Stockton left, but AK47, a great all-around player, makes them a viable threat in the West.

Washington Wizards: With a couple of solid additions and the highest scoring trio in the league, this team should finally push 50 wins.

So there you have it. I have to run now, so the sundry of other topics to which I alluded in my title will have to wait until another day. I could just remove the "assundry" portion of the title, but ... meh.